DYSKINETIC

Radically Inclusive Music Makers.

Tag: creativity

  • Nose Pressed Against The Canvas.

    Nose Pressed Against The Canvas.

    I’m trying to purify my relationship with music. It’s been a long road, and there’s some unhealthy stuff weaved in.

    I identify with my work in a deep way. I am my work. That’s no boast. It’s actually quite unhealthy, I’m beginning to realise. I struggle to separate what I do from who I am. That’s an okay way to write songs, but it’s a difficult way to be a person.

    Sometimes I feel like I have no idea who I am. I’m so wrapped up in the work. And it makes for what I think is called “emotional unavailability” – I’m not always much fun to be around. Le Sigh.

    It’s startlingly obvious, but I have to remind myself that I am not my work. I made some music today purely for fun. That’s a big deal for me. Making music, simply to relax? What is that? It’s been a high stress process for many years.

    It was always going to be this way. I’ve been leading from the cutting edge for years. And that’s what people know me for. The audience is expecting that – and luckily they’re there for me even when it doesn’t always work. As artistic work goes, travelling the world and betting E V E R Y T H I N G on prototype futuretech sci-fi aesthetic as a way of playing music… that qualifies as high stakes. It’s a tightrope act every time.

    But it’s not me. I can give myself permission to enjoy it. I can put some space between me and the canvas. I don’t have to be smushed up against it.

    Grateful for all of it. It’s a beautiful adventure. But I don’t always give myself the space to enjoy the view x

    [The attached painting is part of a series of digital canvases I’ve been working on. Purely as downtime. A chance to be creative with no stakes. It’s how I’m finding the breathing space between me and my work. Just flowing. Not thinking. And relax…]

  • Lockdown Block.

    I fell for it.

    You know the spiel. Write that novel! Make that album! Learn that language!

    Like many people, I expect, I wanted to believe that I was going to make the best of this time. But it’s going stale. Becoming toxic. The idea that all this extra time is an opportunity feels horribly flawed.

    This isn’t normal. These aren’t the conditions to be creative. There aren’t any right conditions of course, but when there’s so much BIG stuff hanging over us, it can feel incredibly futile, trying to make something. Uncertainty is everywhere. From a distance, with the right amount of equanimity, that can be inspiring. When it’s hanging over you, less so. 

    But of course, so many people are making interesting work, which only makes the lack of inspiration worse. People are getting on with it. Why can’t we all?

    So, no, I don’t feel like I’ve done anything of note with this time. And I’m wondering if I will. And I’m wondering if I should even worry about it.

    The alternative narrative is emerging. In articles, in memes, in tweets. It’s okay if you’re not doing your best work now. We still have to survive this thing. 

    I’ve got songs all over the place. Ideas for videos/blogs/whatever. But I don’t have the mindset to make sense of it. I’ve also got three kids at home, and we’re trying to homeschool those. We’re struggling to buy food. I don’t know where the next pay cheque is coming from. And I’m going to make my best music in all this?

    I’m looking for the threads to pull, the right ones. To find something exciting and inspiring. And manageable. 

    One day at a time right? 

    I hope you’re safe xx

  • Go Deep or Go Home.

    It’s kind of a cliche to talk about creativity as an elusive thing. Terms like “Writer’s Block” validate our perception that inspiration can escape the gravity of our ambitions at any time. I’m less and less convinced that this is true.

    It doesn’t follow that I am therefore inspired all of the time, sadly. Imagine! If I’d found the “cure” to writer’s block! And look at you; finding this blog post. Together, we’ve turned the key, and unlocked endless creativity. Sigh. It’s a nice thought. I’ve done almost nothing, except noticed a side door we can maybe squeeze through.

    The sense, the essence, the flavour of creativity is a mindset. You know what focus feels like. In NLP, we might refer to it as a state. The internal “weather” of our emotional inner landscape is incredibly vivid when we feel creative. It may appear elusive, like it comes from nowhere, but we can kinda game it.

    If you pay enough attention, you notice the things that get you in that kind of flow. Listening to really great music will reliable fire up my ego with enough “I wanna make something THIS good” enthusiasm. Finding quality work to inspire is easier than ever.

    Of greater threat is distraction, which is (surprise surprise) easier than ever to find. Social media is gravitating further towards toxicity in many of our lives, and I’ve personally been slow to respond. Tellingly, I’ve noticed more and more great minds I admire are stepping away from the noise. Between Brexit, Trump, Inspo, and the endless chatter of not-much-at-all, there’s never been more information thrown at us more indiscriminately. It’s just noise. It seemed comedicly unrealistic when Marty McFly Jr sat down to watch 12 channels at once, but that’s literally the future we live in. As a minimum, we should be honest with ourselves about how bizarre and unhealthy our social media habits are.

    My life is a little disjointed now. Kids bring endless joy, but seemingly endless responsibility. Three school runs chainsaw straight through my day, and any hope of working for hours and hours uninterrupted is long gone. But that’s just life. Most of us have reassuringly normal responsibilities, few of us can live the retreat life of the fictional artist. So that’s why it’s vital to keep that headspace intact. Keeping our creative internal weather conditions stable. I get yanked around by my schedule, but if I can stay in the right state, I can always pick up where I left off.

    So I’m focusing on nurturing that space. Be ready. Be open. You don’t actually have to do anything. Thoughts think themselves. The clever bit, the real skill, is turning the volume down enough to hear them.